If you don’t like goals, intentions, New Year’s resolutions… all of it…I hear you.
They can feel necessary. Forced. Something to hustle for. And when you're already feeling like you're at your tipping point, a goal can feel like overload. Do you really need one last thing to put more pressure on yourself?
Well, that would not be kind and I as a coach I wouldn't expect for you to want to add to what's already overwhelming you.
So how do you approach change without it feeling like one more thing?
You change your relationship to it.
You change how you think about it. You change what actions you'll take. You decide how you want to feel when you're working toward your goal, and do things that evoke a more positive experience.
Goals can be a good thing, when you actually LIKE them.
I want to offer you this new perspective:
The ultimate point of a goal isn’t to hit it.
I know it sounds crazy.
But, instead of focusing so hard on hitting the goal itself, what if you focus solely on making a small change?
The goal’s only purpose is to act as your North Star, to keep you directed toward the goal, so you remain commited and taking action toward it.
Your North Star might not guide you to work out 5 days per week.
But it might inspire you to move in some way that you've always wanted to try and that fits your lifestyle.
Your North Star would also not pressure you into too much too soon.
But it might start you out gently but steadily, while gradually increasing the challenge as your body adapts to the new routine.
When you like your goal plan, you’ll be committed to your investment (of time, energy, money) and honor what you set out to do.
This doesn't mean you'll never slip back into old habits. You can count on that happening. But when it does, you won't react to it the same way. You won't think worse of yourself for it. You simple aim North again. You get help if you need it. Maybe you get coached if you notice that you're feeling stuck with the goal.
You simply keep asking your brain to come up with ways to keep going.
THAT's how you make your goals work for you.
When you stay committed, you're goal is inevitable.
When clients struggle with a goal, it comes down to one of a few things.
1. They don’t like the goal they’ve set, so naturally they won’t want to work on it.
2. Perfectionist tendencies. You’ll relate to this if you try to do everything right and feel embarrassed about making a mistake. You replay situations in your head, thinking about what you wish you’d done or said.
3. A lack of belief in themself. You’ll relate if you tend to be really hard on yourself…nothing seems good enough. You're not thin enough, your work isn't good enough, you aren't smart enough.
Imagine what it would be like to love your goal, to see real progress, and feel like you could keep going with no intention of ever quitting. That’s what’s possible for you, if you want it.
Just remember the true point of any goal.