How to Leave Old Patterns Behind, for Good
Have you ever wondered why the hurdles we experience in our lives tend to have a common thread?
You’re not alone if you’ve experienced frustration– along with lots of starts and stops– when it comes to creating major change in your life.
When looking for the answers to our stops, it’s easy to blame it on our circumstances.
We say with certitude:
My boss is making me unhappy.
My family is stressing me out.
My job is overwhelming.
My living space is depressing me.
Quarantine is making me gain weight.
When you have these thoughts, what do you do?
Most of us go and try to change our circumstances in order to geneate a different set of results.
We look for a new job or a new home …we end a relationship or change relationships… or we research a new diet.
And we might feel better…for a little while.
Until, despite the new circumstance, we find ourselves re-creating the same thoughts, feelings, and results all over again.
When we look to our circumstances to feel better, we have it backward.
Our feelings and results are the products of our thinking.
We are the creators of our successes, and we are also the creators of our disappointments.
For example, recently I realized I was repeating an unhealthy pattern in my work.
After years in a rewarding corporate career, I made the decision to leave my job and shift into my next calling as a Pilates studio owner and health and wellness coach.
While I have never regretted following my calling, I did notice something interesting. As time went on, I felt some familiar, uncomfortable feelings resurfacing from the past.
My inner critic sounded louder once more, saying things like:
You should be further along.
It’s not good enough.
Why haven’t you mastered this yet?
And I caught myself looking to others to feel appreciated and happier, rather than cultivating feelings of accomplishment and positivity from within.
These were critical thoughts and feelings I had intended to leave behind (for good!), along with my former job.
But there they were, following me into entrepreneurship!
I’ve learned that the Universe is very generous; it will repeatedly give me what I need to learn, until I learn it.
To be the leader I wished to become, I had to start by changing my thinking.
Some new thoughts that I practice are:
I’m exactly where I need to be.
You always do your best, and that is enough.
You are learning something new. Take your time.
Stay in your lane (and stop comparing yourself to others…or to another version of yourself!).
The same goes for all of us.
In order to become the person we want to be and create the lives we want to live, we need to take a closer look at our stories. We need to change our old thought patterns.
Taking responsibility for the unwanted patterns in our lives can feel hard, but on the other side of the examined mind is freedom and growth.
We get to see the pattern and call a truce with ourselves.
Being kind toward ourselves is essential for reinventing our new way of being in the world.
The force and fear we instinctively resort to for creating change fall short as powerful motivators for the long game.
The changes we desire happen when we allow ourselves to accept things just as they are. And this requires cultivating self-compassion.
We can start by accepting this present moment.
And now the time has come for us to nurture ourselves as we shift into growth.
What new thoughts feel kind and encouraging?
What old thinking would you like to leave behind?
What you want awaits you.
It’s just one new thought away.
Be the pioneer of your future, starting with your thinking.
Then let the journey unfold.
On the journey to new destinations,
P.S.- Do you want to change the course of your life? In my coaching program, I help women achieve their big goals. Reach out using the CONTACT form to see if this program is right for you.
We’ll spend 45-minutes focusing on you and your vision. You’ll leave with valuable insights and get a feel for how powerful a single coaching session can be.