Has there ever been a morning where you woke up and thought, “I think that I will give all thinking a rest today”?
No? Me neither! We never decide whether or not to think. Our brains think all on their own, all day long, more than 60,000 thoughts per day.
Of those tens of thousands of thoughts, almost ALL of them are repeated thoughts that we hear over and over again.
At an early age, there are select thoughts that we begin to accept as truths. We think of them as factual; to us, they’re like the weather or the news, just the way the world works and the way things are.
They seem so absolute.
Sometimes these beliefs serve us well, guiding us toward our most productive and meaningful lives.
But when we find ourselves stuck and unhappy in our current situation, there is undoubtedly a thought-story running our lives. Our uninvestigated thoughts interfere with creating the results that we truly want.
For example, one of the stories that was deeply ingrained in me was that women should be generous. At an early age, I learned that “being generous” meant selflessly putting others’ needs before my own.
(Ever heard that one?)
In early adulthood, and then later as a mother, this story about selflessness kept running (unnoticed) in my subconscious. For YEARS, it chipped away at my self-esteem.
The standards that I had set for becoming a lovable, caring mother and wife were impossible to reach. And in the rare instances that they were attainable, they came at a soul-crushing cost.
Do you know what that feels like?
I could never be selfless enough.
I could never spend time and money on myself.
I could never stop suffocating from the guilt.
In early motherhood, I reached a tipping point. My inner turmoil had become so loud and negative that I knew I needed to rewrite the story.
At that time, I came to understand that I was creating my suffering.
It was all in my head. All the time. The same theme, on replay.
This was a hard truth to realize and accept, but in the end it really helped me.
There is only one problem, ever—and that’s our unexamined story in the moment.
I didn’t have to carry forward that old, painful story of selflessness in my own life.
I could choose differently. I could write my own story … and so can you.
We are our own storytellers.
As the author of our own stories, we don’t need to live by the set of standards that we have assumed from our past.
In my case, I crafted a new story, acknowledging that time and money spent on myself were resources well-spent.
I rewrote the story to say that I am kind and generous toward myself AND toward others, in that order.
I released the story that demanded self-sacrifice in exchange for love and respect from others.
My brain had it backward. Maybe yours did, too.
Love always starts from within. I am learning, now, to love myself first. Love for others naturally follows.
Try it and you’ll see: This story invites in balance from the inside, out. Self-love cultivates deeper connections with our own loved ones.
And deeper connections ripple out, sowing the seeds of universal love.
What stories do we want to pass along to our children?
Personally, I want my children to learn this story of self-love, rather than selflessness.
I also want them to know that they have the power to rewrite it for themselves. I want them to love boldly and give generously … without guilt or shame.
What about you?
What might it look like for you to write the story that calls in calm and certainty, the one that sets you free?
Examining our stories is a life-long practice, but one worth committing to.
Our joy and freedom is always available to us.
The body wants to heal itself and release any suffering.
It’s simply waiting for you to take up your pen and write yourself free.
Rewriting the journey,
Christine
P.S.—Are you ready to make lasting change in your life? I help women who say yes to everything prioritize their health and well-being without feeling guilty.
In my coaching program, I’ll teach you how to reconnect to your intuition, reshape your mind, and heal your body. Together we work on all three.
I’ll teach you to rewrite your story and give you the tools you need to change for good.
Hit Reply to get the details.